“Just point and shoot!”, said the video shop assistant with a reassuring smile. Herbie parted with his cash and trotted off with his new camcorder. Just think, he mused, tomorrow we are off on holiday. I can make an epic for the club competition. Can’t lose with all the fancy gimmicks on this little beauty! He tucked the instruction book in his pocket and set off home. I’ll read this on the plane, he decided.
On arrival on their paradise isle, he unpacked the camcorder and set off, looking for a perfect opening subject. Wonderful views in all directions were recorded, although he was worried about all the buttons on the camera. Never mind, he thought.

On playback the pictures were a little wobbly. Perhaps he should have brought that tripod. Then followed some strange shots of feet. That’s funny - where is the shot of that beautiful girl on the beach?

He started off again, trying to capture the glorious flowers in the botanical gardens; however, they were marred by the date and time appearing. “Must get the hang of this. I think my fingers are too large for the buttons.”

The next day was a trip to the volcano. On the peak, everyone was assured with great gesticulations and some humour from the cheery escort that it was safe. “Just smokes a little from time to time”, the guide said. After pointing and shooting for about half an hour, he switched off. Not a wisp of smoke had appeared!

Suddenly there was a rumble, and the ground shook. Out shot a spectacular shower of flame and steam. By the time he had got into position and zoomed in, waited for the auto focus to- work and pressed the —start button. TOO LATE! It was all over.

On the way hack on the coach, he realised that there was more to this lark than he had expected!

Some days later, his results were improving. Of course there was the time when the battery ran out at a crucial moment - he’d forgotten the spare. And playing with the wipes and fades had somehow had not quite achieved the effect he’d hoped for.

Back home he sat and viewed his tape. His wife smiled and said, “That’s nice, dear!”. But he thought to himself “Perhaps I’ll give the competition a miss this time. There’s always another chance next year.”

Now where's that instruction book?


John Woolmer