Finding that elusive punch line for a film

One day you wake up, and suddenly realise that the dreaded Club Competition looms near. Nothing you have shot in the past few months is capable of being massaged into a suitable film.
From this moment you assume a glazed expression during the days and a restless gloom each night. Oh dear, if only “THE IDEA” would pop into my mind.
You want
something to stun the amazed club audience as you grasp the coveted trophy.

Of course a fifteen minute epic in the style of Lawrence of Arabia would be nice, bu short of stealing a camel from a zoo, there is the problem of all that sand.

And you wouldn’t want to steal David Lean’s thunder anyway! And what about a Pride and Prejudice spoof? No! My wife tells me that she can’t think of a Darcy look alike in the club, and that even I wouldn’t fit the bill. Can’t think why! Anyway, all our lady members would spirit him away before the camera rolled.
 
 

Now a gangster epic is an idea! Yes, we have plenty of members who can look suitably sinister, with the aid of dark glasses and a sneer! Also, I find there are six toy guns left over from a previous disaster. It could be shot in Black and White - if only we could find a getaway Black Sedan, several violin cases and ten American Police uniforms.

Come to think of it, I have got some lovely shots of our cat in the garden!

NOW ALL I NEED IS A PUNCH LINE!

John Woolmer