Last year I forgot my tripod when off on Holiday. I learnt my lesson and made sure to take it this time. However, I did manage to forgot my Video Light! I shelved the plan for most of the interior shots at the farmhouse where we stayed and also at the dimly-lit restaurant at the pub one evening. So I decided on a wild life film - a sort of Safari in Dorset.

Of course, I soon realised that six days is a very short time for this sort of project, but undaunted I set off up a cart track where I had seen deer the previous year.

Have you ever stretched out in the undergrowth, well hidden, peering through leaves, branches and abandoned farm machinery? After six hours (well ten minutes actually), I had been bitten by at least 80 species of crawling insects (should have used my Macro Lens) and I was numb in most limbs.

Just as I was about to move, a beautiful pheasant strutted out of the hedge

opposite, paused and stepped up to the camera. What glorious colours, my finger approached the start button, and then I sneezed! He was off, obviously thinking the shooting season had begun. I gave up for that day - after all, it was supposed to be a painting holiday.

The next morning I approached the shepherd on the farm up the lane. He had a few sheep in a small field, separated from the main flock. These were late in lambing and he said he would tell me if a birth was imminent. As I sat in the gateway to get a few establishing shots the ewes took one look at me and turned their backs. It is very hard to make several large woolly rears seem interesting and I think they made a joint decision to delay giving birth until I'd gone home!

Cows are very different. They see you with your camera across the field and immediately wander over. They chewed and stared at me so close up that I became embarrassed. Were they doing a

wild life study in reverse? Perhaps it was my battered Panama Hat. I gave up and got out my paint brushes.

There are plenty of birds in Dorset, but unfortunately they fly so fast and never pose on a branch near to the camera, although a martin did try to commit suicide one day by hanging from its nest. We leapt into action: one person leaned out of a bedroom window and cut the thread, then three others unwound the bailer twine which was caught round its neck and wings. It flew off without giving me an interview and I was left with a BCU shot of hands! (Must remember to ask Father Christmas for a veerrryyyy long telephoto lens.)

So there you are. It wasn’t a success. Still, I did get a good shot of the farm cat; however, he was not such a good performer as our cat at home!

John Woolmer